Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
