dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
