i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
