i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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