I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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