i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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