How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
