my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
