i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
