She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think your dad took our porno
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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