yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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