Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
