sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
