Dual....:-)
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
