Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
