You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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