New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
