Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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