Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i've created a new STD.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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