I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
