her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
