i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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