I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
