I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
