Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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