Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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