absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
