No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
