Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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