Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My vagina just recognized that song.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
