its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
