Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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