So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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