What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
