she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
