Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
