don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
