a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
