your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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