I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
