So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
