i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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