like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
