she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
