ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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