covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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