thus making me awesome and them whores
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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