Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
