He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
