The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
